Day 5 - 90 in 90/Day 12 of Sobriety


butterfly bush
Originally uploaded by martha2
am feeling fragile, like my delicate butterfly bush i have pictured here. am wistful for the summer so i could (a) get through these holidays, and (b) be further along in my recovery, which for whatever reason, started to hit a wall today.

open and honest: feeling a little resentful that i cannot have a glass of wine. it's friday night, i went to a very crowded meeting and that was probably what prevented me from ordering a drink when we went to dinner afterward. i actually was shaking from not getting what i wanted.

shaking.

i pray that tomorrow will be easier. i know i am a "weekend warrior" drinker, whose habits were starting to filter into my week day, as well. i did fine last friday, which i know is now over, as is this one. i did not pick up and thank God i didn't.

but fuuuuck. i wanted to so badly.

1 comment:

Kat said...

My prayers are with you