prayer

i received prayer in Charlie's church a few weeks ago, which praying has, on all accounts, set me on a much straighter road to internal healing. i didn't even go into it when it happened, but i was overwhelmed at the time and felt "broken" before God. i actually feel like something changed in me when it all occurred.

discussion questions: why would i have to go to another church to get prayer if i really needed it? and would it not be a good and wonderful thing if at the end of Mass if the priest said, "if anyone needs prayer, please come forward and we will pray for you..." ??

it would be good and wonderful, would it not?

i would really like to discuss this. one of my co-lectors is fighting breast cancer and she told me that after Mass yesterday, Monsignor wanted to anoint her with oil, which i thought was a brilliant idea. she and another friend of mine who has a serious illness and with whom i was talking after Mass, were asked to go to the side of the church where Msgr. obtained oil and he invited jim and i to come and pray with him, which was my honor to do.

my husband, who is a dear one, kind of pushed me over toward my friends when we were praying and motioned for Msgr. to pray over me, too (for health issues i've not even discussed). i didn't want prayer yesterday. i didn't feel moved to get prayed over by him, it wasn't my moment, it was for my friends and we were invited guests. my husband saw it as a time when i could use a blessing, a time when this particular Msgr. and i could "bridge a gap" (chasm) and i saw it -- and still see it -- as "not my time."

how would you feel about that?

i feel prayer is such a personal thing, and asking for prayer is a personal thing, plus i didn't want him (yes, this particular priest) laying hands on me at that precise moment because it didn't feel *right*...how on earth could i have gracefully avoided it? Msgr. even mentioned to jim afterward hat he needs to "meet with him about something" he "probably could use prayer over" and glanced my way with a "knowing" look after it was all said and done -- was he again referring to, in his opinion, our need for marriage counseling? i was mortified and whatever blessing i was to have felt went right out the window because he said that and jim was confused and i felt like i "honed in" on something that was especially put aside for my friends at that time.

God, am i confused about all of this. i think prayer would be great -- IF PEOPLE DESIRE IT -- and there should be people at Mass who are prayer warriors ready, willing and able to pray over those who are broken and hurting. it is a mighty thing. i also think it is a personal decision and if you don't want a certain anyone praying over you, it is your right to not request it.

i know what God thinks about it...

James 5:14

Is anyone among you sick?
Let him call for the elders of the church,
and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.

...but what say you?

Being Directed

Rogier Van der Weyden
The Magdalen Reading

~*~*~*~

I left for my meeting yesterday morning with great anticipation because I was meeting with someone different than the first time - I don't recall how much I discussed it other than I didn't *feel* it went well and when the phone rang the other day to set up the appointment with the other Sister, I leaped at the chance.

As it turned out, I had the same Spiritual Director as I did the first time -- she had seen the appointment book over her secretary's shoulder and said "Penni is one of mine!" so she came instead of the other nun. I had left something in the car so I used my short walk to retrieve my notes as a time for quick prayer to (a) not let my disappointment show and (b) further prayed that I would be open to whatever God had intended for me to know through Sister during our 45-minute meeting.

Can I tell you? We chatted for an hour and a half and it was wonderful! I brought up several issues with the Church that I had been struggling with, she gave me terrific advice and suggestions and said that the longer she sat and talked with me, the more the Lord was "laying on her heart" that I am "a contemplative but don't quite know it...yet..." There are great "depths to where He wants to take" me and she said that it kept coming up in her very strongly as we were talking. She made further suggestions about going to Adoration and practicing Lectio Divina. I am willing to give it a try.

When I came home, there was an envelope from a nearby parish in my mail regarding a seminar they will be holding on "Centering Prayer." Turns out, it is on one of my weekend days off toward the end of February.

Well, now :)

It was as if God is now saying to me, "Where to next?"